My convalescence from yesterday was put on hold when I picked up the Littlest from school, got the Middle One off the bus, mixed up a new pizza dough recipe, got my girl from the bus, took her to cello lessons (Middle One did his homework in the car… score!), came home, put pizzas together while The Girl did her homework (she’s working on geometry and this is the first time she has actually had to work hard to grasp a concept… it’s not a pretty sight), got dinner on the table, got the boys bathed and jammied, got the girl showered and jammied, and kids in bed (with huge help from my husband). All told about 6 hours of going strong, and I was still able to stay up to watch The Walking Dead that we’d recorded.
Well, although I felt a lot better last night, I woke up this morning to find that my fever had returned, my congestion was worse, and my ears and teeth hurt. When I think about my dreams last night, I can tell that I had a fever. Just those weird complex dreams that don’t make any sense. I also, disturbingly, have numbness in my hands. My neck is less sore than it was last night, when told my husband that it felt like I’d been supporting a heavy weight all day.
Since I am still paying off the ear infection I had last February I’ll have to be a lot sicker than I am to go to the doctor’s.
So today I plan on taking it easy once again — hopefully I will do some gentle yoga just to move my body a little. I desperately need to go grocery shopping so I’ll hit up Aldi. And my son’s insurance is yet again wonky so I need to go to our state representative’s office so the lady who works there can sort it out for me, because she “uses a machete to cut through red tape.” Then get all the kids where they’re supposed to be, do homework, start dinner, go to cello, go to choir (although I can’t sing at all).
I’m frustrated because I really felt awesome on Friday after working really hard for a few weeks to improve my physical and mental state. I truly cannot make the time in my life for this bullshit illness. I *need* to feel better so I can continue to work on Project Karen 2.0. I really am feeling very much that I’m doing this not only to get ready for working but also to sort of save my life. I know that sounds really stupid and dramatic but I’ve been really low for a long time. Things were DARK, man. This glimmer of hope and joy that I’m finding inside (I mean, I need look no further than my kids to get that joy and hope but it’s quite another thing to look inside and see that!) really means a lot to me. It’s a real snowball phenomenon and I’m thinking about what is possible instead of what can’t be overcome.
Clearly, to lose this momentum would be a real bummer.
I am not writing well right now. My keyboard isn’t working right — the cursor is jumping all over the place and I keep typing where I least expect it, and the “n” key is spotty.
I feel exhausted and fuzzy. I feel like I’m not making sense. I feel like I need to wrap this up and do that yoga and just take a shower and fake it and get moving today.
- Yoga: Gentle Yoga 20 minutes
- Words written: 600+
- Weight: ?
- Job I Don’t Want: Nurse
- Deck Check: Short Skirt/Long Jacket, Cake (Comfort Eagle)