Alive Again

Alive Again

I started feeling sick eleven days ago.  I’m on day 7 of antibiotics.  My husband has whatever this bug is (and he had a nearly-all-nighter the weekend he began his illness to boot) and both my sons have missed school this week.  My oldest actually slept through the night last night, which is progress.  The littlest was in our bed last night because I was just too tired to put him back again (I’d go back to his bed with him but he’s more interested in his dad anyway).

Today is the first day in eleven days when I’m feeling human and no child is home sick — my  husband is working from home today.  While I am glad he’s able to stay home and rest up a little and hopefully heal that much faster (he’s on day 4 of his antibiotic schedule), I am going to be really happy when I have the house to myself again and I can get back into my routine which I love oh so much these days.

I could have gone out for a run today but I feel weird doing that while my husband’s at home, sick.  I could do a video but I feel like an idiot doing that while he’s sitting on the sofa trying to work.  So, while I’m not exercising today, I am wearing my sports bra and tech shirts because I thought everyone would be back at their daytime gigs, including me!  I suppose another day isn’t the end of the world and I’ll get back on the wagon soon enough.  Suffice it that I’m not coughing anymore because I think I dislodged my uterus, and my exhaustion is due primarily to the boys’ getting up repeatedly and less to do with being sick myself.

In the meantime:

Girl Scout Cookies.  They’re EVERYWHERE and I seriously need to get these things out of my damn house.  One of my friends’ daughter sold like 800 boxes.  How do they keep organized?  I think next year I’m making up envelopes and giving them out when people order, with a note about when we’ll be delivering, and who to make a check out to, and instructions to put the money in the envelope and we’ll leave the cookies.  Because holy geez, this is out of hand.

The weather.  It’s snowing again.  Punxsutawney Phil is a lying jagoff.  Spring is not right around the corner.  It’s not anywhere.  It’s never going to be warm again or light again.  Winter is going to last forever.  It will never ever stop.  You know, I wonder if I might not have some seasonal affective disorder going on?

My job head space issues:  Well, the past few weeks have made me think how hard having a family and a job are for women (because let’s be realistic — there is no way I wouldn’t have been the one taking off work to stay home with sick kids, or getting up at night to care for them… this is the way it would probably be in our house at least and I know it’s like this in other homes too.).  I have a lot of anxiety about how our lives would change when I get a job.  The past few times I’ve tried to work outside the home it’s been a disaster.  We haven’t had child care that was reliable.  The actual housekeeping was a disaster.  Dinners were crap.  It was stressful and I feel like everyone was unhappy.  When I was working as a doula, I felt such immense guilt for the stress my absences imposed on my family.  I couldn’t fully concentrate on anything I did while I was working because I was constantly worried about what I “should” be doing at home instead.

I have no idea how I would manage to work in the summer time.  I get that people cobble together summer camps but  at about $200/week/kid, with three kids for 12 weeks? That’s $7200.  I cannot wrap my head around this!!!  And the “full day” camps are 9-3 or 4.  There’s after care available, sometimes, of course…. but yeah.  And that’s to say nothing about the fact that the youngest will be turning 4, so his options are limited, and the middle is on the autism spectrum so if it’s not a good fit, it could go very poorly.  It’s just overwhelming and I can’t understand how it works.  I also just can’t fathom that amount of money but I suppose if I’m working, even if every penny I earn in the summer goes to that, then the rest of the year will just be gravy, right?

I know it’s hard for all families, I really do.  I just literally don’t know how they do it!  How many days can you realistically take off to deal with sick kids?  What a disaster this place is after 11 days of sickness, and two days of being distracted by sick kids.  The house might literally fall apart if I had to juggle full time outside-the-home work as well!

There’s been a lot in the news about Marissa Mayer, the Yahoo CEO, having a nursery built in her office for her child, while her company has ended the ability to work from home.  I don’t know exactly what the perfect set-up is — I know I can not seem to go to the bathroom while my kids are home, much less work.  But I also don’t know why in the world the flexibility to do so wouldn’t be such a benefit to companies.  I mean, if your kid gets sick, you’re going to be home anyway.  Wouldn’t it make sense to be able to get at least SOME of your work done that day, from home?  I get that some jobs won’t lend themselves to this, and having a face-to-face presence in the office on a regular basis is really important to many jobs, but at the very least, it’s utterly hypocritical for Ms Mayer to build a nursery (even if it’s out of her own pocket…. doesn’t that make her sound so down-to-earth?) and at the same time deny her employees a similar work-life balance.

  •  Exercise — tried to exercise patience, does that count?
  • Words written: 1000+
  • Weight: 145
  • Job I Don’t Want: Anything involving leaving the house, apparently
  • Deck Check: Alive Again, Trey Anastasio. (Trey Anastasio)

One Response »

  1. Now if only your children would let you sleep through the night. We desperately need grandparents around here we can drop the kids off with for a Friday Night.

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